Talk to the breasts

Okay, this is definitely the funniest thing that I’ve read in ages, and written by a lawyer, no less:

Ordinarily, when someone starts staring at my breasts, I assume that I’ve spilled something. After all, the girls are getting on in years. There are plenty of newer models out on the market for the lads to admire. So when I found an older gentlemen reviewing the troops during a board meeting recently, I was both flattered and stymied. What to do?

I’ve had this happen many times over the years (although, as Suzanne points out, less lately) and usually just stare the person in the eye until he finally raises his eyes to mine before I reply, but I like her suggestion of smacking my chest and yelling “Wake up! He’s talking to you!” although not sure if I could pull it off without laughing. I also recall one memorable meeting with a VC when I was raising venture for a startup years ago when he spent the entire meeting staring at my legs, but I admit that my breasts win hands-down over my legs for attention at meetings.

In a similar vein, there was a fabulous scene in the series Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip two weeks ago where a journalist played by Christine Lahti is encouraged by her (female) friend to show a little cleavage in order to get the story that she wants; when she shows up in a low-cut dress and push-up bra (and looks fabulous, even not considering that she’s in her mid-50’s), Bradley Whitford’s character takes a quick look at her and says “Nice rack. Did she tell you to wear that? How old do you think I am, 15?” Matthew Perry’s character, of course, spent all of his time staring at and addressing her breasts. The whole exchange was really funny, poking fun all around. This is definitely my favourite new show.

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